Batjokes
by matty-moo-666
Summary: Batman x joker fluff, eventual smut maybe. Boy on Boy, if ya don't dig, don't read. Joker based on Heath Ledger's portrayal of him. Batjokes 4 lyfe.
1. Chapter 1

M Rating (16+)

Joker based on Heath Ledger's portrayal of him.

Batjokes

The city lights covered the landscape as the dark knight perched upon an office complex building. The faint screams of police sirens from around the town were only just audible over the pitter-patter of rain falling from the gloomy skies of Gotham. Things were feeling a bit slow after he'd rounded up the Penguin, the Riddler and the Joker up into Arkham. The man in bat's clothing was more than happy about it, though it did feel unusual to only be fighting against the perpetrators of petty crimes such as theft and vandalism. He had become accustomed to the murdering psychopaths like the Joker, since the clown was always one of his greatest enemies. Bruce was aware, however, that it would only be a matter of time before the green haired maniac escaped, or charmed Dr Strange enough to let him out. And so, as he sat there, at the top of the building, he pondered what the man might do once he regains his freedom.

.

.

.

"Master Bruce?" an English voice said from the entrance to the batcave.

"Ah, Alfred. I'm glad you came down. These bullet marks are a nuisance to get out of my suit... it's making me rather hungry if I'm honest, so I thought-"

The sharply dressed man was cut off by the butler.

"Well, Sir, I regret to inform you that there's a bloody murderer on the loose. See for yourself."

The silver fox turned on a near by TV that Bruce had had fitted onto the wall. The evening news came on immediately.

"Stay inside, lock your doors and windows. This man is armed with a knife, and is dangerous. He will harm you if you get any where near him. It seems that after his time in Arkham, the man known only as 'the Joker' has began a killing spree. Footage was recovered from the scene when the man escaped the asylum. We will now play the footage found, though I must warn you that some may find the contents of the footage disturbing."

" Oooohhhh Batsyyy" called a familiar voice from the Footage, and then the man's face became visible as he raised the camera to reveal his features.

"woohahahaHAHAHA... every time, Batman. Every time you lock me away.. I come crawling right backhahaha!"

Bruce sighed and leaned against the table.

"Aren't I getting under your skin now, Batsy? Don't you just want to punch me right between the eyes? ahahahaaaaa!"

The madman licked his thumb and slicked his eyebrows back.

"now.. here's the deal." He said, darting his tongue out over his dry lips.

"I gotta few hostages, nothing serious, just civilians. The only thing missing now, is my uhh.. hehehaha... little knight in shining armour! My little Batman! HAHAHheheehh!"

"SOOooo... come on down. I know you'll find me. You always do... Batman. HAHAHAHAHAHOOOOOheheee!"

"That's all the footage we have folks, stay safe."

Alfred turned the TV off.

"I don't suppose you're still hungry, Master Wayne?" He asked, sarcastically.

"Just find who the hostages are from the GCPD, find where they've been taken, and I'll eat a damn sandwich once that freak is done with" Bruce said firmly.


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce furrowed his brow as he prepared to put on his black, latex and PVC batsuit.

" _How_ _many times_ am I going to have to catch this psycho and put him behind bars before he learns his lesson?"

"Well... I dunno, Sir. You've definitely got your work cut out for you, don't ya?"

Alfred answered, as he headed towards the exit of the Batcave.

"All I can do is leave you to it, and make you crumpets once you arrive back."

He chuckled to himself, as he headed up the marble stair case, and back through the secret entry-way.

The dark knight now donned the tight-fitting suit, of which was the same colour as the night sky of Gotham city.

"Alright, Alfred. What've you got on _Mr. Funny Guy's_ location?"

He asked, through the communication system built into the batmobile.

"Some sad looking warehouse in the city outskirts... used to be a electrical and computer parts factory. Been abandoned for a decade or so. I'm sending the exact GPS location to you now. Start driving, and head for the highway."

The butler spoke with a hint of urgency in his register, as he sat at a large, oak wood desk, with multiple computer screens in front of him. The dim light from the moniters was all that lit the room.

"Alright, thanks. Is this his new den or something?"

Bruce stepped on the gas and sped out of the Batcave garage, highway in his sights.

"I suppose so, Master Bruce. It could also be a trap, mind you, so take care of yourself. Alright?"

"I'm a _grown man_ , Alfred! But you're not wrong... I'll be on the look out for any suggestions of a trap. Batman out."

The billionaire chuckled and took his thumb off the microphone button on the steering wheel. He was left to his own devices now.


End file.
